Pearls of Wisdom

Yesterday I went to the funeral of my coworker's mother. I had never met her, but my other coworkers and I went in support of him. My prayers are with him and his family during this time and into the future, when all of the commotion slows down. It was a nice service...she was clearly a woman who loved her God and her family above all else. Those she left behind were a moving testimony to how she lived. I knew none of the family there with the exception of my coworker...it's amazing how the heart feels the emotion of others and reacts to their sadness. Compassion is a wonderful thing, it keeps us connected.

Among all the things shared at the funeral, there were two things that stood out to me - in a life lesson kind of way.

Her grandson was speaking about his memories of her. While he was talking he referenced the movie Evan Almighty. He said in the movie, there was a part where Evan asked God (played by Morgan Freeman) for patience. Morgan Freeman's response was(paraphrasing)

...If you pray for patience, I don't give you patience. I give you opportunities to be patient. If you pray for courage, I don't give you courage. I give you opportunities to be courageous. If you pray for better relationships with your family, I don't give the relationships to you. I give you opportunities to spend time with your family...

Wow. I felt very AHA! in that moment. Our job is to pray for the things we need. God's job is to allow us to grow in those ways. We never learn from things being handed to us. We learn through the opportunities to work and grow in the areas where we are lacking. Funny enough, Evan Almighty was on tv last night.

The second pearl came from the Reverend performing the ceremony. When talking about the wonderful woman who had passed, she noted all of the joys that her loved ones had from loving her. And now that she has passed, they all are sad - because of how strongly they love her. She paused and said, we have to understand that grief is the price we pay for love. Grief is the price we pay for love. Wow again. Wherever there is love, there will eventually be loss. Not in an ominous way...but that is what life is. People change, leave, die. It's the natural cylce of life. Does that mean we choose to not love in order to avoid the grief? Not as far as I'm concerned. We have all suffered loss in our families, in our friendships, in our relationships. And in some cases more than others, it's hard to allow ourselves to love again because we don't want to hurt that way again. But, imagine how much joy we would miss out on. Imagine what the trade-off is...no love, no pain. And really...even if you 'don't love', that does not guarantee the no pain...so we might as well LOVE! I would hate to miss out on loving my family and friends because of the fear that one day they won't be there anymore. I would hate to miss out on loving him (whoever him is) because of the fear that he won't be there forever. Loving people is the good stuff of life. The great stuff of life. The reason for life. As cliche' as it is, it is so true that...it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Absolutely.