I've come to the conclusion that I tune in to the Michael Baisden show purely for the opportunity to get me amped up. Lol. I understand that the goal is probably to get folks listening and responding, but sometimes....whew.Earlier today there was a woman who called in and was sharing how she and her significant other had been together for 23 years and 6 children, but were not married. She communicated that she wanted to be married and had wanted to be married for quite some time. Mike and Juan (his board op?) both expressed feelings of...well, you've been with him for 23 years...what right do you have to change that now and think that he should marry you?? You can't just change the game on the brotha now - it's not fair.
WHAT? (is what I said a little too loudly at my desk...lol) What do you mean, what right does she have to change that now? She has every right. She has birthed SIX of his kids. She has been with and loved him for 23 years. And if she feels or has felt that marriage is what she wants, than she has every right to let him know that. No blame-gaming is necessary. If they've been together for 23 years with no ring, then both of them had to, in some manner - spoken or unspoken, agree to that. But, if today, she knows that this is what she wants, so be it. Either he's with it or he's not. When asked if she wanted to be married before, she said yes. They wanted to know why, all of sudden, she wanted to be married. Perhaps her desire for marriage is based on her beliefs, her relationship with God , her need for completion...who knows. But, the bottom line is that she is warranted to request this.
I think what bothered me most about their positions was that it implied that there is such a time when it is too late for change. That there is such a time where if you have not done better, you haven't a chance of doing so. That there is such a time when your future is dictated solely by what you have allowed in your past.
And I refuse that. If I have accepted 'less than' for 30 years and at 30 years and 1 day I decide, I will no longer accept receiving less than I deserve, then as of that moment, change has come. Whether 1 day or 23 years in to whatever situation it may be, your change is always just one second and one word away.
3 comments:
WORD! It's an interesting place to be, especially in relationships of the romantic kind. When my convictions set in and remind me that "I aint living right" and I seek to change, I'm wrong? Crazy!!! But interestingly enough many a woman has been afflicted with some "guilt" for demanding some changes....This is why my new motto is know what you want and baseline any relationship from that stance. But always maintain your right to change the game..even in the 9th inning.
Also wish to add: I CAN'T STAND NO DARN MICHAEL BAISDEN!!!! The last time I listened to his show he was "warning" men not to ever date a woman who had an absentee father. I'm on fire right now just recalling that foolishness and since I'm on a personal mission to cool my temper I'm going to stop right here...
As I always say, "it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind!" And there's something about the MB show that bothers me. I find it hard to listen to him on occasion. Just too much drama sometimes I guess.
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